Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Know your enemy

As the election draws near the weighty political issues of our time come to the fore. Hence this discusion about flagpoles at Back Pages and then the revival of the Fridge magnet be alert but not alarmed campaign. My last Fridge magnet was accidently thrown in the bin so I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of its replacement.
For as the Prime Minister has stated we all have to ensure that this country is as prepared as it can be and as protected as it can be.
While trusting in my fridge magnet to protect me in most circumstances in this age of hysteria terror I've decided to do my bit by publishing some useful excerpts from this 1940's Adelaide booklet Know Your Enemy:and Improvise your own defence
© Department of Home Security, Canberra.

If you need to take shelter and don't want to dig a trench in the backyard;

... the safest place would be beneath a solid table placed against two walls in a corner of a room. A mattress thrown on the top, as indicated in the accompanying sketch, would increase the protective value of the table, whilst a double thickness of books will also give good protection.
If you are caught unawares, why not put a stout table against a wall in the passageway, and block two ends of it with mattresses, or, if you have time, books. It would be much better than nothing.


the booklet also suggests that;

A handy means of boiling the kettle will do much to pass the time away, whilst a gramaphone or portable radio will also do much in that respect.

I suppose you could always read a book, from now on I'm only buying hardcovers for added protection. In the future I will post some useful nutritional advice, such as The Value of Dripping, Do not despise liver and how to Preserve a few dozen eggs.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have the perfect table to hide under,it is a large timber job with sturdy fat wooden legs,in the event of terror/friendly fire I will house my family under the above mentioned,with some cunningly placed books and a mattress to boot the structure should handle anything those bastards(John Howard etc)can throw at us.If you read this in time Andy,before 5:30,Adam Spencer of Triple J
fame has fulfilled his bet and has made it onto Wheel of Fortune,he has been keeping listeners informed of his progress over the last few months.Yes Andy,its Dave.Breathe easy.

Anonymous said...

I have the perfect table to hide under,it is a large timber job with sturdy fat wooden legs,in the event of terror/friendly fire I will house my family under the above mentioned,with some cunningly placed books and a mattress to boot the structure should handle anything those bastards(John Howard etc)can throw at us.If you read this in time Andy,before 5:30,Adam Spencer of Triple J
fame has fulfilled his bet and has made it onto Wheel of Fortune,he has been keeping listeners informed of his progress over the last few months.Yes Andy,its Dave.Breathe easy.

Anthony said...

Sir

If you'd gladly reproduce a how to spot a Messerschmitt Bf 109 guide, I'd be most grateful. Failing that - The Value of Dripping

Anonymous said...

It's David Tiley. Yo Andy.

That post is very fine. Somewhere my mother still has the cookbook she used to learn to cook - a spiralbacked thing with sort of plasticated pages and cartoons of a wartime housewife. The coating was probably something made from the leftover bits of hooves after they had finished making spitfire windscreens out of them.

Trouble is, they didn't have ordinary food like eggs and chops. So there is a lot of stuff with brussel sprouts and cabbage. The worst is whale steaks.

My mother was a dreadful cook. Now that she has discovered Uncle Canopener she doesn't do much, but at least baked beans is good for finally loosening a gut ruined by rationed food.